What must be faced, must be faced. Sooner rather than later.

“When was the last time you got your master health check-up done?” the doctor enquired. “No doc, I have never got a master health check up done,” the man replied. “Why so?” queried the surprised doctor, and added, “Post 40, you should get your master health check up done every two years.” The man said, “I don’t want to doc. Then they will come up with reports that may say my cholesterol level is high or I’m a diabetic… god knows, what else. Now I’m absolutely fine. One health check-up and I will start feeling like a sick man.”

Knowing very well that escapism can only be transitory, and also knowing very well that you cannot eternally escape anything in life, why do you still try to escape? Why do you hope against hope? Why is it that you don’t want to know what you must know? Just because you close your eyes, it doesn’t mean that the world will become blind. Eventually, what must be faced must be faced. Then, why at all eventually? Why at all postpone? Why at all delay? The forest fire you will face tomorrow is the little spark you tried to escape yesterday.

It is a fact that most of us lack the courage to face the facts of life. (I was the same till a few days back) That we lack the courage to face the facts of life is the first brutal fact that we must face.

I think my friend is drifting away from me. Only if you face this fact, something can be done about it. I think his friends are influencing our son more than we are able to as parents. A hard fact, no doubt, but only in facing it can something be done about it. I think my relationship is falling apart. True, a heartbreaking fact, but unwilling to face this fact is not going to solve anything. I think the competition is eating into our market share. I think some of our employees are nurturing the aspirations of joining the competitor. I think my kind of work wins me not only friends, but also enemies. Though I have always told him that it was his mistake, I know in my heart of hearts that I was wrong. The list is endless…

Only if you face the fact, something can be done about it. If you avoid the fact, it gets nastier and it revisits you. At least now, face the fact. Something can still be done about it. What you avoid does not go away with you. It gets uglier, and it revisits you. Every fact you escape from will haunt you in future with thoughts such as, “I should have… I could have… I must have…”

You can always seek the right medical intervention, follow the proper fitness regime and eat the right diet. You can ease out the differences with your friend through open communication; you can take the initiatives to become your son’s best friend, open up new markets, find a human beacon who take you from here to there, and take the courage to say the small-big word ‘SORRY’. Something can always be done. Face the brutal facts of life courageously; knowing very well, only then something can be done about it.

Everything ever solved, was solved only because somebody was ready to face it. It all starts with the courage to face the facts. In facing the facts that you had always tried to avoid, for the first time you are looking at life square in the eye. Escapism is not for people like you and me. What must be faced, must be faced, sooner rather than later.

Sitting alone on a winter night,
Beside a warm luminous flame,
Comes a breeze playing with fallen leaves,
And whispers in my ears your name !

Suddenly it seemed that spring has come,
There was love in air with drizzling shower,
With every breath there is a fragrance,
With every glance there is a colorful flower.

Every drop from sky seemed like
The water from your wet hair drips,
And every pink flower i saw,
Was greiving for color from your lips.

That cuckoo singing those sweet melodies,
Seemed to have borrowed your voice,
And any other sound except your name,
Fell on my ears as mere noise.

The collection of all colors, that rainbow,
Stretching across the horizon looking pretty,
Also cant lend colors to your portrait,
As mere colors cant depict your beauty.

The stream of water trickling down the rocks,
Made sound like how you laugh.
And i imagined your glittering eyes when,
I could see the setting sun only half.

Suddenly i open my eyes and wake up to see,
The same old winter night and the burnt off flame,
I realized that it was just a broken dream,
But one thing that still remained in air was "YOUR NAME"!!!!!

- Kandarp

When you truly believe you can, no force on earth can stop you…

Desire is a great creative energy. No achievement is possible without a desire to achieve it. Desire can be and should be cultivated, controlled and most importantly directed in the right direction. None of the inherent laws which govern the world, can be suspended or repelled by any force on the same plane, but it goes without saying that a higher law can overcome a lower one. By giving all your energy to a strong positive desire that will lift you, the smaller insignificant ones can be negated. For example, when you nurture a strong desire to win the marathon, your desires to eat sweets and pastries is taken over by the desire to win the race. When you nurture a strong desire to top the class, you easily give up your desire to watch the cricket match during exams. By fostering a strong desire to finish the project on time, your desire for the sleep goes for a toss. Your desire to own a house is so persuasive that you don’t mind forgoing your weekend and working for it. The list is endless… It boils down to what is that one desire that you will continuously ignite and pledge your life with, and the rest fades away in insignificance.

We often see men and women of strong mentality empower those around them. They emanate such strong desires as vibrations, which, coming in contact with minds of others, causes the desires of the latter to be in accord with the mind of the strong individual.

Great masters possess this to a great degree. Their influence is felt far and near by making others ‘want’ to act in accord with them. In this way, men of strong desire and imagination exert powerful influence over the minds of others, leading the latter in the way desired. Leadership is nothing but empowering the mass with your desires and leading them by giving their desires a sense of direction.

When the desires of a tree, for water, makes it lift water through 367 feet(tallest tree in the world) overcoming gravity, what should be the power of a human desire? Unimaginable! This is where one has to tread cautiously, for desire is a tool, which can cause destruction or creation depending on how and for what purpose you use it. Both a Hitler, who wanted to vanquish the Jews, and a Gandhi, who perpetuated non-violence became legends by making the people feel along with their desires.

No man is ever created without the inherent power in himself to help himself. There is a divine potency in every human being and even for that to happen desire is required. Ignite that desire in you, which is beneficial not only to you, but also for hoards of people around to such gigantic proportions that it engulfs all your other desires. The only way to work is to perform all your actions in tune with that strong desire, but not be desperate for the results.

Those of us, who understand that mind is a great creative power, also understand that nothing is impossible.

When you truly believe you can, no force on earth can stop you…

Live and let live, but to get, first you need to give….

None of us is useless. Just that we are used less. And we all can use ourselves completely, only when we start living a life that is useful to others. The more and more you add values to others, the more and more valuable your life becomes. Today, the surest means to success is value addition. Today, ‘value added services’ is an industry by itself. Fundamentally, the measure of what you will be given depends on what you give.

Didn’t they teach us- when you share your knowledge with others, your knowledge grows! Haven’t we heard – the coffers of those who give are never empty! Isn’t it proverbial – if you take care of the growth of other children, life will take care of your own child!

It seems a man was walking in the desert. He still had miles to go. He spotted a hand pump. A note was stuck on the hand pump. It read, “Pour all the water that you have into this pump and pump vigorously. It will give you in return enough to fill your bottle.” The man was in a dilemma. He knew that the water he was left with was not enough for him to survive the rest of the distance in the sand dunes. However, if he poured everything he had got into the pump, and if nothing came off from the hand pump, he would be left with nothing. He decided to trust the note, and go ahead. So he poured all that he had in the pump and started pumping vigorously, as if his entire life depended on it… of course, his life depended on it. After some nerve-wracking moments water did gush from the pump. He not only had enough to quench his thirst, but also had enough to fill his can. He was then certain that he would now survive the distance. He took out his pen and added to the note: “It works, really works!”

The moral: If you want everything from life, you got to first give everything you have got to life.

Not only from a philosophical point of view, even from a materialistic point of view, when you take care of your employees, they take care of the organizational growth. When you take care of your stakeholder’s returns, they take care of your capital needs. When you take care of your customers, they service your profits. When you work on your partner’s happiness, isn’t your happiness in the relationship automatically taken care of? To start with, you take care of the seed, and one day, the seed turned in to a tree, will take care of you for a lifetime.

Stop cribbing, “Who loves me?” Start loving enough people and you will no more be starved for love. Stop crying, “Who understands me?” Start understanding others, and they in turn will stand by you. Stop complaining, “Who is interested in my growth?” Start playing a role in others growth, and growth will come in search of you. Take care of the future of your team and your team will ensure, you will have a future.

Service the interest of others, and life will service your very interest. Pull others up and life will push you up. Be there for the world, and the world will be there for you. More often than not, when you take care of the larger good, your personal good is automatically taken care of.

Live and let live, but to get, first you need to give….

Que sera,sera

These two phrases haunt us throughout our lives reducing us from confident, self assured individuals to depressed, morose bundles of nerves. “What if…” and “if only…” are two ends of the same spectrum. One creates self doubts and the other is the harbinger of regret. “What if…” simply prevents us from fulfilling our dreams because it fills us with a feeling of uncertainty as to whether what we are doing is right or not. The two words act as roadblocks in the path of individual progress as well as collective growth. While it is prudent to observe a certain amount of caution in any work we perform, it is never advisable to constantly give in to morbid thoughts about what can go wrong. Giving in to panic every time we think of accomplishing a task will only lead to failure and reluctant frustration and depression. Continuous suppression of ideas and objectives will hamper our physical, mental and spiritual growth.

A friend of mine has been thinking of embarking on a world tour with her husband for the past four years but has never made it past her door step. The moments she decides to set out, the monster called “What if…” rears its ugly head. She starts preparing a mental questionnaire where each question starts with – you guessed it… What if it snows heavily in Switzerland and we are trapped? What if hurricane Katrina strikes New Orleans when we are visiting the states? What if an earthquake shakes Japan or China as we are passing through it?

Like him, most of us succumb to the “What if” questionnaire and give up many of our dreams without even attempting. If we reflect on these doubts with a calm and composed mind, we will realize that most of the doubts are baseless. Most of the so-called hurdles are created in our minds. And if something has to go wrong, it will. As they say ‘que sera sera’ or ‘whatever will be, will be’. All we can do is to take the necessary precautions and then pray for the best and prepare for the worst.

If I could narrate the much –loved parable of the frog in the well with a slight modern touch it would probably go like this: There were two frogs in a well. One set off boldly to see the world and got enriched by the experience. The other remained in the well for all his life because a witch had cursed him that throughout his life he will have to fight the twin brothers ‘what if’ and ‘if only’ and unless he showed the courage and wisdom, the brothers would win the battle. That was what had happened exactly.

Every time the frog sat on the edge of the well and thought of exploring the world, ‘what if’ will visit him and plunge him into panic and doubt. Since he was never bold enough to shake it off, he would leap back in the wall and stay there. Soon the years passed by and one day lying on his deathbed, the frog was visited by the other brother ‘if only’. He closed his eyes and thought of innumerable times when he had thought of leaving the well, but had not. If only he had had the courage to do it, if only he had followed his friend on his journey, if only he had another chance, if only… With these regrets in mind, the frog breathed his last.

I’m sure none of us want to pass our lives - half of it in self doubt and the other half in regret. The time to act is now. Take valuable lessons from your past, use the experience wisely to guide your future and live fully in your present. Only then will you be able to banish the two siblings ‘what if’ and ‘if only’ from your life.

In letting go of your hurt, you will let in peace.

No single person, no single event, no single experience has the right to sit inside your head and continue to disturb the peace of your mind. Nothing…Nobody… should ever be given such exalted status as to have power over the peace of your mind. For the sake of your peace, let go of anything, let go of anybody, who continues to rattle you from within. Your mind and heart should be the seat of your peace and not the seat of someone or something that keeps disturbing you. Nothing at the cost of your peace. Everything for the sake of your peace. Learn to let go, not in the physical sense but in the emotional sense. Free yourself of any disturbing elements. Let go whatever. Let go whoever. Put your peace above everything.

Your within can either be a basket of fragrant flowers or a vessel of acid. When you let go of the source of your hurt, you experience an inner flowering. Else, you keep destroying yourself in the same way that acid destroys the vessel that contains it.

People hurt you out of their ignorance and their immaturity. And, you allow yourself to be hurt out of your ignorance and out of your immaturity. The fact of the matter is that between the hater and the hated, it is always the hater who gets hurt more. While your hatred may do nothing to the other, it certainly gives you sleepless nights, causes ulcers and acidity in you, and above all, does not allow you to be at peace. So, what do you get out of living with hurt? Nobody gains and for sure, you definitely lose. Why would you live with something as meaningless as hurt?

In physical sense, the people or events that hurt you happen once. But you rewind and replay the hurt a zillion times. The more you process it, the deeper it hurts. You have given a source of disturbance a higher presence within you than your own peace.

If at all anybody is wrong, let them continue to live outside of you. Don’t give them a presence within you. Let your mind and heart house only those who are a source of your peace. The rest, let them go…

In letting go of your hurt, you will let in peace. A peaceful you is a beautiful you. The good news is, you can be beautiful. The very good news is that it is in your very hands. See…. Even the thought of ‘let go’ is getting you to smile…

I will first listen to understand and then communicate to be understood.

The basis of any relationship is sympathy, apathy or empathy.

The basis of sympathy is, “I understand you. Hence I agree with you.” However by understanding and agreeing with you all the time, I feel taken for granted and sometimes even exploited. Because of my sympathetic nature, through communication and presentation, what is not ok is made to look ok.

To save myself from becoming weak I become apathetic. The basis of apathy is, “If I understand you then I tend to agree with you and become weak. So I won’t understand you.” Apathy makes me indifferent. I’m no more sensitive to your emotions. I don’t even want to risk listening to your point of view, for I may end up understanding and agreeing with you. Why should I always understand? Why don’t you understand me once?

In sympathy, I don’t feel respected in the relationship. Hence I become emotionally weak. In apathy I don’t respect the other and hence the very relationship becomes weak. To save myself as well as the relationship, the only solution is empathy.

In empathy, “I understand you, but I may or may not agree with you.” I understand why the beggar begs, but I don’t agree that begging is the way to bread. I understand why you lied, but I don’t agree to this approach of a second wrong to cover up the first wrong. I understand your work pressure, but I don’t agree that home can be your emotional dumping ground. In empathy I simply get behind your eyeballs and see things the way you see it, irrespective of whether I agree with you or not. Empathy allows me to peep into your mind and heart. In empathising with you, I become ‘you’ without losing the ‘me’. Empathy validates the point that relationships are not built by agreement but by understanding. In empathy we agree to disagree. In empathy there is mutual respect. Hence, it strengthens you, the relationship and also me. Empathy is the only way to deep and lasting relationships.

But without learning to listen, empathy can never be practiced. Most of the relationships breakdown because one of the two involved in the relationship has not learned to listen. Listening is the door to the mind and heart of those who you listen to. I get to know you only when I listen to you. Listening is caring. By listening, I’m seeking to understand. Talking is sharing. By talking I’m seeking to be understood. Both listening and talking are required to develop empathy and empathetic relationships.

Nan-in, a Japanese master during the Meiji era (1868-1912), received a university professor who came to enquire about Zen. Nan-in served tea. He poured his visitor’s cup full, and then kept on pouring. The professor watched the overflow until he could no longer restrain himself and said, “Its overfull. No more would go in!”

“Like this cup,” Nan-in said, “you are full of your own opinions and speculations. How can I show you Zen unless you first empty your cup?”

I will first listen to understand. Through my listening, I will help people to first empty themselves. Only then will I communicate to be understood. And now, I’ll fill them up.