The Pipal Tree! It stood firm there in a temple near my house in my town with its tender leaves rustling in the breeze all day long. As a child I fondly watched it every single day and my admiration for it never diminished.
One day I saw a Pipal leaf in my friend’s notebook. It had turned into a beautiful web formed by the veins of the leaf. Oh! It was magical for me! I wanted it too. My friend informed me that when Pipal leaves dried naturally, they leave behind a webbed skeleton of veins. That very evening while returning from school, I went under the Pipal tree, selected a leaf for myself, stored it in a book of mine as explained by my friend and then the wait began...
Every evening after returning from school, I would straight away run towards my book to see the progress, nothing much happened though. A few days passed, but there was no sign of magic that I had expected. A week went by , then another and another. Yes, the leaf was drying slowly, but that was it. I waited for a few more weeks and then out of sheer frustration, one day I tore apart the leaf and threw it away. Years later I learnt that the process of drying required a lot of time and also that there were other quicker techniques for getting the skeleton!!!
As a child I was impatient to see the changes in the Pipal leaf and as a grownup I saw myself getting impatient to see the changes and improvements in people I love. I thought, I contemplated, and I understood…
1. That very often we expect people to change or improve to meet the standards that we set. I feel that people should forgive as easily as I can. I expect my teammates to work with the same passion that I do. I also expect my friends to play with the same enthusiasm and intent that I play with. There is no issue with these expectations. In fact, they help others to grow. The issue arises when I get disturbed about my expectations not being met in the time frame that I’ve set. So even after communicating a number of times, if she is not sensitive enough to a few situations, it upsets me. He not playing as seriously as I do makes me angry. The issue is not the expectation but it is the disturbance.
2. People change where they want to change. I may want them to change in one aspect and something else may be their priority.
3. Just because I’m not able to see positive changes in people immediately, it doesn’t mean they are not good people or they are not improving. They may be improving but my ambitious time frame for them may block me from seeing those little changes.
4. People will follow my example more than my advice. It is very easy to point out at others and let them know where they need to change. What’s not easy is to invest the same time and energy on myself and get to know where I need to improve. Mahatma Gandhi rightly said, “The true textbook of a pupil is his teacher.” When we change, when we improve, the world around us also improves.
Our loved ones deserve our patience; deserve our appreciation for the little improvements. We need to celebrate their improvements rather than being critical about their imperfections. In fact, I wonder, what would people do for the rest of their lives if they all turned perfect overnight?
I guess I need to get a new leaf for myself and watch it transform-this time, patiently.
