It was 2006 and my father was fighting against Cancer. I was away studying in Chennai while he was in Junagadh, Gujarat. I was going there for my semester break. April end it was. Had not seen him since about a year but somehow had this feeling that, though otherwise he was a man with very strong will power, in his 5th year of his battle with Cancer, he had started giving up because Cancer had reoccurred and he had not expected that. His wish to live had started to whither. By writing this letter i wanted to pump him up to live again, wanted to give him something to look forward to live again. Sunday, June 18th 2006, Father's Day was approaching and i knew that i would be returning back to Chennai before that so wanted to give him this letter when i was there as advanced Father's day wishes.
When i reached there, i saw that he was in no state to be able to sit also. He was reduced to a body where there was only skin and bones. He did not want to read anything. He was sufferring a lot of pain and he was scared that reading emotional things from me would make him feel like living more and prolong his pain and agony. But i wanted him to read it, as he was not ready to do so, i started reading it loud to him...
" Dear Dad
Going back to my birth, I did not know what you or I felt at the time when I was given to your hands for the first time and I cant even imagine it. But let me give it a guess, you would have felt that the whole world has shrunk and come into your hand and I would have thought that yes, this is where my world starts from.
Going back to my birth, I did not know what you or I felt at the time when I was given to your hands for the first time and I cant even imagine it. But let me give it a guess, you would have felt that the whole world has shrunk and come into your hand and I would have thought that yes, this is where my world starts from.
Then came the time when you lent your finger to me to hold on and learn to stand on my feet. I don’t think that you would have succeeded in your very first attempt but I’m very sure that you did not leave trying. The proof is that I’m walking through this world without losing my balance off my feet as well as morals and values. You have always been on my side to protect me.
Dad, all fathers have some legacy to their child. The legacy can be in eyes, hairstyle, accent, looks and what not but a very few fortunate children have legacy of talent, intelligence, confidence etc. And I’m one of those fortunate ones. So let me tell you that, you have been my hero in whatever you do, whether it is managing the family, wiping our tears, smiling and laughing with us or anything else that you do. The years would have passed but you still remain my hero.
Running my mind towards those passed years, my mind fills with the memories of those days that you filled with warmth by your gentle smile. In my childhood my needs were different and now they have changed but the need that will never change is you!
You don’t know dad that your faith in me thought me the difference between giving up and trying again and again till you succeed. Your trust in my virtues, talent and wit molded me into what I’m today.
I learnt to give respect to others by looking at the way you treated others and me as well. And now I know very well that respect is that seed which will ultimately give a dense tree of love.
Dad, you are never ending source of intelligence, inspiration, hard work, talent, principles, dedication, knowledge, morals, positive attitude, optimism and what not…… I can’t think of all the great qualities that you own. It is beyond the limit of expression and writing.
When I look at myself today, I feel so proud that the qualities that I admired and respected in you are now parts of me.
Dad, you were always there when I needed you. As a friend when I wanted to pour out my heart. As a guide when I was treading through darkness. As a teacher listening and solving all my queries with patience.
Really dad you are my God, your words are my Geeta and your life is my religion that I will follow.
When I was a child, you used to give me lot of preaching when I was wrong, but, …. The only part I understood was, “Now sit down and listen to me quietly…” Beyond this, nothing went inside my mind. (Just kidding dad! )
Be rest assured dad that you will never ever have to hang your head down because of me, on the contrary you will always have your head held high when talking or listening about me.
Today my outlook of life, my choices and my sense of humor have a lot to do with the way I was brought up ad let me tell you daddy, there is no defect in your upbringing. I will prove it. In the future whenever you will look upon to me, you will always be proud of me as a son and as a human being as a whole. This is my promise dad."
When i finished reading it, i was in tears, i wiped the tears that rolled out from his eyes. Kissed him on his forehead least aware of the fact that this was my last kiss and last letter to him. He left us all and set off for his eternal journey after two days...
Dad, i know you are still with me and i want you also to know that the promise i made to you, is still ON!
