Saturday, March 6, 2010

And I Thought RAM-ayana was Pre-Historic!!!

LAN, LAN ago, in the SYSTEM of I/O-dhya(Ayodhyaa),there ruled a PROCESSOR named DOS-rat (dashrath). He had Three queens - CONSOLE-ya, CHECKSUM-itra and CIE/CAE.

Once he EXECUTED a great sacrifice PROGRAM with sage Shrungi as the OPERATING SYSTEM after which his queens gave an OUTPUT of four SUNs-- RAM, LSIman, BUG-rat and SHUT-rughana.

RAM the eldest was a MICROCHIP with excellent MEMORY and processing powers. His brothers, however, were only PERIPHERAL ICs; everytime RAM addressed them, they said, "I-C".

Once when RAM was only 16MB, the great sage Vish-WAN-mitra sought his help to fight some DAEMONs who persistently RAIDed his hermitage. After a brief collision, RAM routed them so easily that he came to be called DAEMON ROUTER. He then proceeded to marry princess 'C'ta. ‘C’ta's sisters, who were not her blood sisters and hence called TRAN-sisters, married RAM's ICs. On the way back to I/O-dhya, the entourage met Parashu-ROM (or P-ROM as he was better known), the scourge of the kshatriyas. Taking up the P-ROM challenge, RAM aimed an arrow at him; he threatened to take away P-ROM's powers of locomotion, thereby converting him to Static RAM. P-ROM humbly withdrew and the procession reached I/O-dhya.

12 years passed and DOS-rat decided to INSTALL RAM as his successor. However, Queen CIE/CAE (Kaykeyee), who was once offered a boon by DOS-rat for a life saving HELP COMMAND, LOADED this opportunity at the instigation of her BIOSed maid MAN-thara(a real PLOTTER),and insisted that her son Bug-rat be INSTALLED and that RAM be BOOTED to the forest for 14 years. This cruel and unexpected demand, caused a HARD DISK FAILURE in DOS-rat and he collapsed, power-less.

RAM agreed to LOG INTO forest and 'C'ta insisted to LOGIN with him. LSI-man was also resolved on LOGGING IN with his brother as a SLAVE-LSI. The forest was the dwelling of SPARC-nakha, the TRANSISTOR of RAW-wan, PROCESSOR of LAN-ka. Attracted by RAM's stature, she proposed that he marry her. RAM, politely declined and forwarded her to LSI-man who also politely declined. Perceiving 'C'ta to be the SOURCE CODE of her distress, she hastened to kill her. On ‘c’ing this, LSI-man TRUNCATED SPARC-nakha’s PERIPHERALS like ears and nose.

Weeping, SPARC-nakha fled to LAN-ka, where RAW-wan, moved by TRANSISTOR's plight, approached his uncle Maricha. Maricha MASKED himself into the form of a golden sTAG and DRAGGED RAM deep into the forest. Finally, tired of chase, RAM shot the deer, who, with his last breath, cried out desperately for LSI-man in RAM's voice. Fooled by this VIRTUAL RAM SOUND, 'C'ta urged LSI-man to his brother's aid. Catching the opportunity, RAW-wan DELINKED 'C'ta from her LIBRARY and changed her ROOT DIRECTORY to LAN-ka by BROADCASTING her over sky.

RAM and LSI-man started SEARCHING for the missing 'C'ta all over the forest. While UNZIPPING the forest, they encountered Ha-NEUMAN, who took them to his MAIN PROGRAMMER SU-greev. They made friendship with the forest SYSTEM ADMINISTRATOR SU-greev and his powerful co-processor Ha-NEUMAN. SU-greev agreed to help RAM but first wanted help from RAM to delete his own sibling node VAALI. SU-greev's intention was obvious. He wanted to be the only admin around & wanted to grab all the consulting jobs in the forest.

RAM CRASHED VAALI using some un-documented features. VAALI cried foul and started complaining to the justice department saying that it was not a fair fight.RAM then convinced everyone using his trademark MICRO SOFT WORDs coupled with a few FREE vedic goodies. Though some of the onlookers such as ORACLE (seer)and pancha bhutas such as SUN, disagreed with RAM's micro soft touch, they all shut their mouths fearing RAM's reach among the user community.

SU-greev ordered his PROGRAMMERS to use powerful 'SEARCH' techniques to FIND the missing 'C'ta. His SUBPROGRAMS SEARCHED all around the INTER-NETworked forests.
Many tried to 'EXCITE' the birds and animals, not to forget the 'WEB CRAWLERS' and tried to 'INFO SEEK' something about 'C'ta. Some of them even shouted 'YAA-HOO' but they all ended up with either 'NOT FOUND'MESSAGES or HANG OUT. Several other SEARCH techniques proved useless.

Ha-NEUMAN devised a RISKy TECHNOLOGY and used it to cross the seas at an astonishing CLOCK SPEED. On the way he bumped with a few satellite signals but was able to avoid deflections due to his own high strength. Soon Ha-NEUMAN DOWNLOADED himself into LAN-ka. As soon as ha-NEUMAN reached LAN-ka, he had to collide with its firewall called LAN-kini. The firewall made desperate attempts to stop ha-NEUMAN entering into its internal network, but the great ha-NEUMAN detected a loop hole in LAN-kini's firewall. Using micro code, he broke the security and entered LAN-ka.

After doing some local SEARCH, Ha-NEUMAN found 'C'ta weeping under a TREE STRUCTURE in ashok vatika(Garden where ‘C’ta was STORED). Ha-NEUMAN used a LOGIN ID (ring) to identify himself to 'C'ta. After DECRYPTING THE KEY, 'C'ta believed in him and asked him to send a STATUS_OK MESSAGE to RAM through RING topology. Meanwhile all the raakshasa BUGS around 'C'ta tried using many pyro-techniques to capture Ha-NEUMAN who was engaged in DELETING trees from the Ashok vatika. But all of them were unable to put an END TASK to Ha-NEUMAN’s process. At last RAW-WAN’S son INDIRECT-jIT INTURRUPTED Ha-NEUMAN’s TASK. On FORWARDING Ha-NEUMAN to RAW-WAN, RAW-WAN DEMANDED TO INSERT the virus-‘Fire’ in Ha-NEUMAN’s tail. But Ha-NEUMAN managed to spread chaos by spreading the VIRUS 'Fire'. Ha-NEUMAN happily pressed ESC from LAN-ka and conveyed all the STATUS MESSAGES to RAM and SU-greev, they at once started to MOVE towards LAN-ka. RAM felt happy with ha-NEUMAN's methodology of execution and embarked on a project code named EXPLORER to delete the netESCAPING RAW-wan. NULL and NILL, programmers of SU-greev were expert in PROGRAMING stones to float on water and with their skills RAM even created a bridge and GATEWAY to acess LAN-ka network. In the mean time, signs were apparent in LAN-ka about the imminent danger from RAM's project EXPLORER, but RAW-wan refused to budge. Sensing disaster, his own sub-program called vibhee-SHUN, executed a 'GO TO' statement and branched out to RAM's camp.

RAW-wan decided to take the all powerful RAM head-on and prepared for the battle. One of the RAW-WAN's SUN (son)INDIRET-jIT almost DELETED RAM & LSI-man with a powerful weapon. But Ha-NEUMAN resorted to some ACTIVE-X gradients from HILL GATES and REBOOTED RAM and LSI-man.

RAM COMPILED the SOURCE CODE secrets of RAW-WAN from RAW-WAN’s brother Vibhee-SHUN and once for all wiped out RAW-wan's presense on earth. After the battle, RAM got INSTALLED in I/O-dhya and ‘expanded’ his MICRO SOFT WORKS and other USER FRIENDLY PROGRAMS to all USERS and every one lived happily ever after.

Wednesday, March 3, 2010

My Name Is Khan - Does it matter?

I came across this article on yahoo! By Ayesha Khan, Assistant Editor, The Indian Express, Ahmedabad.

http://in.news.yahoo.com/48/20100213/1241/top-my-name-is-khan-this-movie-isn-t-for.html

Of course the title of the news line was noteworthy as it was probably the only one with a negative edge towards the movie which otherwise everybody else was praising for more reasons than one. Initially as I started reading it, it kind of looked like a review and I started to perceive the article as an individual’s like or dislike which is absolutely acceptable and normal.

But then suddenly this line came: “So, I debate: should I now watch My Name is Khan, with its catchy tagline: "My name is Khan and I am not a Terrorist". The tagline hurts. It insults.” Now with this, it became clear that the person is yet to see the movie. It became all the more stranger for me to comprehend at that time why the writer says the movie is not for him(her as we find out later… i always imagine guys doing such stuffs) without watching it!!!

To know the reason I proceeded ahead. Now the article started seeming more like an attempt to showdown the Building President than reflecting any views on the movie. I mean with due respect to the writer, I don’t understand one thing… WHY DID SHE HAVE TO USE SUCH SENTIMENTS?

She herself at the end says that though she does all those things done by an average Indian citizen, she has to incidentally prove herself more than any other average Indian citizen… Now for anyone who has seen the movie, he would agree with me that if the real problem was her having to prove herself, then the movie is all the more inspiring for her than hurting!!!

She says that the tagline hurts but why should it hurt? Is there a racist remark in it? Is there any abuse to the religion? Without understanding the essence of the tag line I personally don’t think it was appropriate for her to publicize her views. If she had personal sentiments then she should have written these things on her Blog. Yes I admit that there is a need for the awareness against the likes of the Building President and such elements need to be defaced but my question is, How right is it to raise that issue in the backdrop of the movie?

I have seen the movie 5 times by now(though it was purely for SRK’s performance) and every time I see it, one thing that strikes my mind is the reality portrayed in the movie. I’m by no means trying to justify the negative attitude of the west(or for that matter people of India as well) against Islam. I respect Islam as much as I respect my own religion. And hence as an observer I feel that the world needs to change their view towards the Islam as well. I have many muslim friends and I respect and love them a lot.

But I often see people looking at Muslims with suspicion in their eyes. The element of doubt covering their minds and clouding their perception of Islam. I often hear people say things about Islam that my muslim friends wouldn’t want to hear. I can understand what would be going through your mind right now if u are a muslim. Trust me these things hurt me as much as they hurt you and hence my direct request to Ms. Ayesha Khan and all those who have sentiments towards the tagline of the movie is that don’t perceive the statement “My name is Khan and I’m not a terrorist” as Tagline of the movie, it is in reality the Punch line of the movie(You should see the timing and the manner in which the dialogue features in the movie for the first time to believe what I’m saying). There are instances in the movie where the teachings of Islam are embossed that leave people awestruck.

Think from Khan’s point of view…Shah Rukh Khan… you think he wouldn’t have felt the sentiments that you people are going through? But he took it as a challenge or rather a responsibility to take this message to the world that the words Khan and Terrorist are not co-related. And I suppose we must support him for the cause. I’m not telling this as a SRK fan but I’m telling this as a Hindu who feels Islam deserves a better treatment, a higher respect and a social acceptance without stigma. (Don’t care if VHP or Shiv Sena or Bajrang Dal or any Tom Dick and Harry harass me for a statement like this!)

Awakening is always in an instance. Awakening always happens in a moment. Just one idea, one thought, one insight, one revelation, one existential intervention, one experience, one incident, one accident, one moment of epiphany...That is all is required.

Just one moment will do. And I feel this movie has many moments to spark a new positive attitude towards Islam in people’s mind. Remember, that morning she was a schoolteacher. That afternoon she was a schoolteacher. When she saw a man dying on the streets of Calutta, she was still a schoolteacher. When she saw that man die for want of medical assistance she was still a schoolteacher. The man died. In that moment it all happened. A Mother Teresa was born. That morning he was only a barrister. While entering the train he was still a barrister. While he was thrown out of the railway compartment, he was still a barrister. On the platform when he was down with the feeling of humiliation, in that very moment it all happened. A Mahatma Gandhi was born. Responsibility comes from responding with ability. Let us help a cause to give Islam the respect it deserves. And let us spread this message to the world that there are more Rizwan Khans in Islam than Faisal Rehmans(Character in the movie, no reference intended). Let the world know Khan is not Terrorist.

Monday, March 1, 2010

I will cooperate with the inevitable, for I understand, in life, "Such is the way."

A young boy noticed a crocodile that was caught in a net, near a river bank. The crocodile begged the boy for help. Looking at his nervousness it promised not to devour him as a token of gratitude for saving it. The boy had hardly cut open the net - the crocodile grabbed his leg. The boy cried out in anguish, “This is not fair. You can't do this to me for saving you from the hunter,
that too after you promised you won't.” The crocodile calmly stated, “In life, such is the way.” The boy asked the crow to help but ironically the crow agreed with the crocodile, “Right in front of my eyes the serpent devours our chicks and I helplessly watch it, for in life, such is the way.” The monkey and the parrot too agreed with the crocodile. Finally, a rabbit came forward and instigated the ego of the crocodile. “Utter nonsense. There is no such stupid philosophy.”

Hearing this, the ego-involved crocodile opened its jaws to have a loud-enough argument with the rabbit. The boy escaped from the jaws of the crocodile. Having heard the cries of the boy, the villagers and the boy's pet dog arrived at the river bank. The villagers began to beat the crocodile to death. The dog spotted the rabbit and started chasing it. The boy screamed at
the dog, “Hey, listen! This rabbit saved my life. Do not attack him.” But the dog had chased and killed the rabbit in a jiffy! Hurt and bleeding, as the boy walked back to his village, he felt, “The crocodile was almost saved, but it eventually died. I was almost dead, but was eventually saved. The rabbit need not have been in the scene at all, but for all the good it did, now it is no more. The crocodile was right. In life, such is the way.”

Cooperating with the inevitable is not a defeatist outlook, as it may seem. Giving into the philosophy, “In life, such is the way,” isn't about a fatalistic attitude to life. But how long will you bang against the wall,when in reality you are going to bleed, but the wall will never open up for you? How long will you curse your luck and wait under a mango tree expecting oranges, when in reality you may drop dead, but not a single orange will drop from the mango tree? In fighting the
inevitable, you will lose all your energy and will.

Now, when you eventually find the door, you won't have the energy to take the exit. Now, when you eventually reach the orange tree, you will be too tired to relish it. Genius is in knowing, when to let go 'what can't be'. In letting that go, you are ready to embrace 'what can be'.

Either you will save your energy by gleefully cooperating with the inevitable, for in life, such is the way. Or, you will drain your energy by miserably and helplessly cooperating with the inevitable, for again, in life such is the way. What is, is! What isn't, isn't!

In two simple words, sustain else abstain.