There is a story about Mullah Nasruddin that goes like this. One day Mullah Nasruddin lost his ring down in the basement of his house, where it was very dark. There being no chance of his finding it in that darkness, he went on the streets and started looking for it there. Somebody passing by stopped and enquired: “What are you looking for Mullah Nasruddin? Have you lost something?” “Yes, I’ve lost my ring down in the basement”, said Mullah Nasruddin. “But why don’t you look for it down in the basement where you lost it?” asked the man in surprise. “Don’t be silly!” said Mullah Nasruddin, “How do you expect me to find anything in that darkness!”
But really isn’t that the irony of life? We look for something where we expect to find it, not where we want to find it, not where it necessarily is. Bring on the list of expectations- yes that long, endless list. The greatest challenge in today’s over populous world is rising expectations in relationships, and the striving to live up to them. Everyone is running in one direction or the other and there‘s a lot riding on each tide as it comes in and goes. Often we find ourselves short of patience, time and energy. Patience may not be a virtue your sibling seems to possess in abundance, but you still seek it from him. That you lose your temper over it is a different issue altogether. Don’t we often yearn for love where none is forthcoming? It’s not that we don’t have enough people who love us already, but that we want to be loved by that one person. Often we feel let down because we seek courage in a coward, loyalty in a nomad, encouragement from a cynic, faith from an atheist, obedience from an anarchist, emotional bonding from the disconnected, love and tolerance from the extremist, happiness from the world, stability in the stock market. The terms may make these qualities seem like abstractions, but you’ll find that you see them in people you come across all the time.
But isn’t that the very point of it all-What good is it to me to have a calm neighbour and a terribly impatient spouse? It’s like having all the solutions in the world but no problems to solve. No one had ever to try hard to be loved and treated with compassion by Mother Teresa- it was always there for the taking. But where these desirable qualities don’t seem to exist, one has to summon them, seek them out. If not by nature, everyone is capable of developing, acquiring and nurturing desired qualities. Why look outside, a peek into the mirror will unravel the long list of expectations we have from our own self.
As far as it concerns us, we know it is possible to summon the qualities we expect of our self , although it may take time. And when it comes to the world, it may sometimes seem that we are banging our head against a wall, but we never know when we’ll make headway. There are also times when we realize that we’ve been barking up the wrong tree, when we reach the topmost rung of the ladder to find that it’s been leaning against the wrong wall!!! Impractical as the Mullah’s actions may appear, in people, situations and relationships look where you expect to find something, for earnest and constant seeking does yield results even in the most unlikely of the situations, from the most unlikely individuals.
