And I Thought RAM-ayana was Pre-Historic!!!

LAN, LAN ago, in the SYSTEM of I/O-dhya(Ayodhyaa),there ruled a PROCESSOR named DOS-rat (dashrath). He had Three queens - CONSOLE-ya, CHECKSUM-itra and CIE/CAE.

Once he EXECUTED a great sacrifice PROGRAM with sage Shrungi as the OPERATING SYSTEM after which his queens gave an OUTPUT of four SUNs-- RAM, LSIman, BUG-rat and SHUT-rughana.

RAM the eldest was a MICROCHIP with excellent MEMORY and processing powers. His brothers, however, were only PERIPHERAL ICs; everytime RAM addressed them, they said, "I-C".

Once when RAM was only 16MB, the great sage Vish-WAN-mitra sought his help to fight some DAEMONs who persistently RAIDed his hermitage. After a brief collision, RAM routed them so easily that he came to be called DAEMON ROUTER. He then proceeded to marry princess 'C'ta. ‘C’ta's sisters, who were not her blood sisters and hence called TRAN-sisters, married RAM's ICs. On the way back to I/O-dhya, the entourage met Parashu-ROM (or P-ROM as he was better known), the scourge of the kshatriyas. Taking up the P-ROM challenge, RAM aimed an arrow at him; he threatened to take away P-ROM's powers of locomotion, thereby converting him to Static RAM. P-ROM humbly withdrew and the procession reached I/O-dhya.

12 years passed and DOS-rat decided to INSTALL RAM as his successor. However, Queen CIE/CAE (Kaykeyee), who was once offered a boon by DOS-rat for a life saving HELP COMMAND, LOADED this opportunity at the instigation of her BIOSed maid MAN-thara(a real PLOTTER),and insisted that her son Bug-rat be INSTALLED and that RAM be BOOTED to the forest for 14 years. This cruel and unexpected demand, caused a HARD DISK FAILURE in DOS-rat and he collapsed, power-less.

RAM agreed to LOG INTO forest and 'C'ta insisted to LOGIN with him. LSI-man was also resolved on LOGGING IN with his brother as a SLAVE-LSI. The forest was the dwelling of SPARC-nakha, the TRANSISTOR of RAW-wan, PROCESSOR of LAN-ka. Attracted by RAM's stature, she proposed that he marry her. RAM, politely declined and forwarded her to LSI-man who also politely declined. Perceiving 'C'ta to be the SOURCE CODE of her distress, she hastened to kill her. On ‘c’ing this, LSI-man TRUNCATED SPARC-nakha’s PERIPHERALS like ears and nose.

Weeping, SPARC-nakha fled to LAN-ka, where RAW-wan, moved by TRANSISTOR's plight, approached his uncle Maricha. Maricha MASKED himself into the form of a golden sTAG and DRAGGED RAM deep into the forest. Finally, tired of chase, RAM shot the deer, who, with his last breath, cried out desperately for LSI-man in RAM's voice. Fooled by this VIRTUAL RAM SOUND, 'C'ta urged LSI-man to his brother's aid. Catching the opportunity, RAW-wan DELINKED 'C'ta from her LIBRARY and changed her ROOT DIRECTORY to LAN-ka by BROADCASTING her over sky.

RAM and LSI-man started SEARCHING for the missing 'C'ta all over the forest. While UNZIPPING the forest, they encountered Ha-NEUMAN, who took them to his MAIN PROGRAMMER SU-greev. They made friendship with the forest SYSTEM ADMINISTRATOR SU-greev and his powerful co-processor Ha-NEUMAN. SU-greev agreed to help RAM but first wanted help from RAM to delete his own sibling node VAALI. SU-greev's intention was obvious. He wanted to be the only admin around & wanted to grab all the consulting jobs in the forest.

RAM CRASHED VAALI using some un-documented features. VAALI cried foul and started complaining to the justice department saying that it was not a fair fight.RAM then convinced everyone using his trademark MICRO SOFT WORDs coupled with a few FREE vedic goodies. Though some of the onlookers such as ORACLE (seer)and pancha bhutas such as SUN, disagreed with RAM's micro soft touch, they all shut their mouths fearing RAM's reach among the user community.

SU-greev ordered his PROGRAMMERS to use powerful 'SEARCH' techniques to FIND the missing 'C'ta. His SUBPROGRAMS SEARCHED all around the INTER-NETworked forests.

Many tried to 'EXCITE' the birds and animals, not to forget the 'WEB CRAWLERS' and tried to 'INFO SEEK' something about 'C'ta. Some of them even shouted 'YAA-HOO' but they all ended up with either 'NOT FOUND'MESSAGES or HANG OUT. Several other SEARCH techniques proved useless.

Ha-NEUMAN devised a RISKy TECHNOLOGY and used it to cross the seas at an astonishing CLOCK SPEED. On the way he bumped with a few satellite signals but was able to avoid deflections due to his own high strength. Soon Ha-NEUMAN DOWNLOADED himself into LAN-ka. As soon as ha-NEUMAN reached LAN-ka, he had to collide with its firewall called LAN-kini. The firewall made desperate attempts to stop ha-NEUMAN entering into its internal network, but the great ha-NEUMAN detected a loop hole in LAN-kini's firewall. Using micro code, he broke the security and entered LAN-ka.

After doing some local SEARCH, Ha-NEUMAN found 'C'ta weeping under a TREE STRUCTURE in ashok vatika(Garden where ‘C’ta was STORED). Ha-NEUMAN used a LOGIN ID (ring) to identify himself to 'C'ta. After DECRYPTING THE KEY, 'C'ta believed in him and asked him to send a STATUS_OK MESSAGE to RAM through RING topology. Meanwhile all the raakshasa BUGS around 'C'ta tried using many pyro-techniques to capture Ha-NEUMAN who was engaged in DELETING trees from the Ashok vatika. But all of them were unable to put an END TASK to Ha-NEUMAN’s process. At last RAW-WAN’S son INDIRECT-jIT INTURRUPTED Ha-NEUMAN’s TASK. On FORWARDING Ha-NEUMAN to RAW-WAN, RAW-WAN DEMANDED TO INSERT the virus-‘Fire’ in Ha-NEUMAN’s tail. But Ha-NEUMAN managed to spread chaos by spreading the VIRUS 'Fire'. Ha-NEUMAN happily pressed ESC from LAN-ka and conveyed all the STATUS MESSAGES to RAM and SU-greev, they at once started to MOVE towards LAN-ka. RAM felt happy with ha-NEUMAN's methodology of execution and embarked on a project code named EXPLORER to delete the netESCAPING RAW-wan. NULL and NILL, programmers of SU-greev were expert in PROGRAMING stones to float on water and with their skills RAM even created a bridge and GATEWAY to acess LAN-ka network. In the mean time, signs were apparent in LAN-ka about the imminent danger from RAM's project EXPLORER, but RAW-wan refused to budge. Sensing disaster, his own sub-program called vibhee-SHUN, executed a 'GO TO' statement and branched out to RAM's camp.

RAW-wan decided to take the all powerful RAM head-on and prepared for the battle. One of the RAW-WAN's SUN (son)INDIRET-jIT almost DELETED RAM & LSI-man with a powerful weapon. But Ha-NEUMAN resorted to some ACTIVE-X gradients from HILL GATES and REBOOTED RAM and LSI-man.

RAM COMPILED the SOURCE CODE secrets of RAW-WAN from RAW-WAN’s brother Vibhee-SHUN and once for all wiped out RAW-wan's presense on earth. After the battle, RAM got INSTALLED in I/O-dhya and ‘expanded’ his MICRO SOFT WORKS and other USER FRIENDLY PROGRAMS to all USERS and every one lived happily ever after.