Que sera,sera

These two phrases haunt us throughout our lives reducing us from confident, self assured individuals to depressed, morose bundles of nerves. “What if…” and “if only…” are two ends of the same spectrum. One creates self doubts and the other is the harbinger of regret. “What if…” simply prevents us from fulfilling our dreams because it fills us with a feeling of uncertainty as to whether what we are doing is right or not. The two words act as roadblocks in the path of individual progress as well as collective growth. While it is prudent to observe a certain amount of caution in any work we perform, it is never advisable to constantly give in to morbid thoughts about what can go wrong. Giving in to panic every time we think of accomplishing a task will only lead to failure and reluctant frustration and depression. Continuous suppression of ideas and objectives will hamper our physical, mental and spiritual growth.

A friend of mine has been thinking of embarking on a world tour with her husband for the past four years but has never made it past her door step. The moments she decides to set out, the monster called “What if…” rears its ugly head. She starts preparing a mental questionnaire where each question starts with – you guessed it… What if it snows heavily in Switzerland and we are trapped? What if hurricane Katrina strikes New Orleans when we are visiting the states? What if an earthquake shakes Japan or China as we are passing through it?

Like him, most of us succumb to the “What if” questionnaire and give up many of our dreams without even attempting. If we reflect on these doubts with a calm and composed mind, we will realize that most of the doubts are baseless. Most of the so-called hurdles are created in our minds. And if something has to go wrong, it will. As they say ‘que sera sera’ or ‘whatever will be, will be’. All we can do is to take the necessary precautions and then pray for the best and prepare for the worst.

If I could narrate the much –loved parable of the frog in the well with a slight modern touch it would probably go like this: There were two frogs in a well. One set off boldly to see the world and got enriched by the experience. The other remained in the well for all his life because a witch had cursed him that throughout his life he will have to fight the twin brothers ‘what if’ and ‘if only’ and unless he showed the courage and wisdom, the brothers would win the battle. That was what had happened exactly.

Every time the frog sat on the edge of the well and thought of exploring the world, ‘what if’ will visit him and plunge him into panic and doubt. Since he was never bold enough to shake it off, he would leap back in the wall and stay there. Soon the years passed by and one day lying on his deathbed, the frog was visited by the other brother ‘if only’. He closed his eyes and thought of innumerable times when he had thought of leaving the well, but had not. If only he had had the courage to do it, if only he had followed his friend on his journey, if only he had another chance, if only… With these regrets in mind, the frog breathed his last.

I’m sure none of us want to pass our lives - half of it in self doubt and the other half in regret. The time to act is now. Take valuable lessons from your past, use the experience wisely to guide your future and live fully in your present. Only then will you be able to banish the two siblings ‘what if’ and ‘if only’ from your life.